The second excuse that we will be unpacking from the podcast by In It Together is how our career impacts our marriage. The full podcast can be listened to here.
One of the biggest stresses in our lives is from our jobs. Agree? How many of you have had a stressful day at work and it spills over into your home life? Happens to us all the time.
How do your careers have a negative impact on our marriages?
#1 – Our careers separate spouses and families during the day. We wake up, get dress, eat breakfast, hop in our vehicles and then all head our own ways from anywhere to 8-10 hours. In the past husbands and wives, worked the land and homesteaded together. While they had different roles, their paths crossed daily.
#2 – Careers can bring on health related issues. Ever missed a good night’s sleep because you were thinking about work? Both of us have. In the podcast they reveal that over 46% of stress a person experiences is related to their career.
#3 – Careers can suck your time and keep you captive to your phone/computer. Oh my gosh, YES! I used to be terrible at putting boundaries on my work hours and it was starting to cause problems in our marriage.
#4 – Your career can make you grumpy. Forbes put out a statistic that 50% of people do not like their jobs. Ever come home grumpy after a day at work. We have for sure!
Now lets talk about ways to reduce the influence of your career on your marriage.
#1 – Set boundaries on the influence of your job coming home. That may mean you need to set a time frame on when you will no longer check your email or answer your phone. A great boundary to set is not answering your phone during dinner.
We have found this to be really helpful in our family. It is hard to tell your children to not be on electronic devices all the time when you can’t put them down yourselves.
There was a point in our marriage where I (Christina) would be on my computer at all times of the day, particularly at night. I remember many times, when Micheal would bring this up to me but I always had an excuse to why I had to work at night. After several years, I realized how destructive this was becoming to my mental health and also how this was negatively impacting our marriage. I am happy to say I am no longer on my computer at night!
#2 – Does your career bring you joy? About 5 years ago, Michael starting asking this same question. The result of this question brought about us leaving a community we had lived in for 10 years. The first year of our move was really difficult to adjust to. Fast forward 4 years and we will both admit this was a great change for our entire family.
#3 – Plan out dates nights and vacations. It is easy to bypass date nights and vacations if they are never planned out in your calendar. You will always look at your calendar and state “I am too busy.”
#4 – Simply your life. What can you cut out to make things easier? What takes up your time that is not promoting connecting and communication with your family and your spouse?